The Sister in the Brotherhood

Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
– Ecclesiastes 4:12 –

I have always wanted an older brother.  I was blessed with a younger brother whom I love dearly, but there has always been something so wonderful to me about the concept of having an older brother.  Someone to protect you, love you, and even pick on you at times. I however, am the oldest in my family.  I love being the eldest and enjoy the role that gives me in the family but having an older sibling to learn from always seemed like a cool idea.

Back in January, I agreed to work as the Waterfront Director at Camp Hickory Hill, which the majority of the summer is a boys only camp.  The concept of working on a staff entirely comprised of men was intimidating. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I get along with boys great, the difference is that I was entering their turf.  Boy’s camp was for boys, and I feared spending the summer without friends because I would be the girl that no one wanted there.  I am happy to say now that I would not have wanted to spend my summer anywhere else. Instead of gaining friends, I gained brothers who shared their love for one another with me.

I have always loved the way men interact with each other.  It is so simple and straight forward compared to girls.  When interacting with a group of girls you have to sit there and try to decode the entire social construct of the group. Who is the leader? Who is the one that is going to get mad at you for even looking at her boyfriend? Who is the emotional disaster? Most importantly, where am I going to fit into this hierarchy? Trying to find your place in a group is exhausting. I was pleasantly surprised to see how simple the interactions between men are.  They have a hierarchy, sure, but it is so straight forward that anyone can figure it out.

A brotherhood is something that is so glorified in society.  As women, we hear about the bond that men have with one another and it is hard for us to understand.  I was given the privilege to be accepted into a brotherhood and get a glimpse of what it means to be someone’s brother. Instead of shoving me by the wayside, I was invited with open arms into their brotherhood and shown the same love and care they had for each other. The constant love I was shown surprised me every day.  The staff would have events and I would have zero expectations of attending, yet I would be invited without question. These simple acts of love have changed my life for the better.  I have a new perspective on how men interact with each other. There is an inseparable bond they have with one another and it seems that the only requirement to enter into the brotherhood is simply being of the male gender. Somehow, I got to be the exception.

Sisterhoods are not like brotherhoods, sisterhoods are much more delicate than brotherhoods.  A simple conflict can completely destroy a sisterhood in a matter of days.  Men do not behave this way. There were many times I would hear someone talking bad about another staff member, and not but a few hours later or the next morning that staff member would lay a hand on their brother in love and pray for their struggles.  This stunned me!  I have never seen a group of girls interact this way; I had never acted this way!  Instead of a conflict tearing them apart, it built them up and only made their bond with each other stronger. The boys could so easily forget the argument they had and give their brother love and support.  This was a kind of love I saw and received each day.  The best part about it was, even if I did not reciprocate the love back it was given to me every day without question.

The Bible tells us to “love thy neighbor”; this summer gave me a new perspective of what that truly means. Those crazy boys taught me what it means to give someone the love of God. It means that, no matter your differences with someone, to shine the light and joy of Jesus Christ wherever you go and to whomever you meet.  The love of God is unconditional and is given to all no matter who they are or what they have done.  The Camp Hickory Hill Staff has truly inspired me to share the love of God with everyone. I will be the first to admit that many times the love I share with others is conditional. It is hard to show love to those you dislike, but God calls on us to not only love your neighbor but to love your enemy.

I was shown unconditional love and it was powerful.  God used those young men to show me how to truly love another human as God intended.  I do not know if I will be able to come back to Camp Hickory Hill next summer, but the lessons I have learned will stick with me forever. Thank you to the staff that showed me so much love and support all summer. It was a blessing to work with you all and call you all my brothers.